I think that they should be able to show emotions about something like that, its not that being “fat” is bad or ugly, but when someone says it in a negative connotation and makes your body something to talk about, it makes you feel bad about yourself.

So I asked them to talk more about the negative backlash they received on tiktok. “I posted that I wasn’t expecting people to be rude, but they were. I wasn’t expecting the video to get that many likes. My stuff doesn’t really go outside of my orbit, sometimes it obviously does, I’m not going to say my stuff doesn’t blow up. It does. But a video like that, I really wasn’t expecting it to get more than 100 likes at most. Like my video doesn’t blow up at all, like ever. Then it started to get people from edtw commenting like ‘well if you post it, you consent to others using it’. It’s like no, no you’re not. Like for example a few years ago, there was a man who made music and he would just use use photos of women off Pinterest as his album covers. His music started blowing up, and then he started receiving backlash for using other peoples images without their permission. Just in that context they are not consenting to their photo being used, even if it’s not used for a negative reason. But that’s what people forget. When I post something I don’t consent to be a think piece on edtwt.”

“ It was hurting my feelings bad. I see how edtwt can make fun of people when they get their hands on a picture of someone they call ‘fatspo’ it legit becomes a edtwt think piece. I got worried that’s the direction it was going in so I deleted that morning. I try to steer really clear of edtwt, on my main account I block every edtwt account I see usually, and even if I have an mutual that interact with (even if they aren’t apart of it). I try not to interact with them a lot just because i’m afraid of my photos being on edtwt as a think piece again. But honestly the Tiktok I posted that morning where was I was pissed, the one that you saw, also got a lot of negative backlash. Lowkey more than I was expecting.”

Third question I had asked was How does fatphobia affect you in alternative spaces? “overall how has fatphobia affected me in alternative spaces? Typically people online are quite nice to me but idk recently my Twitter, when I post a selfie or some pic of me there will be like at least one hate comment now… I think it’s like incels, tbh usually like a man hating on me… or just someone with under 100 followers. If there is some discourse and I ‘call out’ someone usually their response is like ‘well your fat with a bunch of makeup har har har’.”

I think that when someone comes after someone for something so stereotypical like weight, looks, self expression. Instead of coming after someones character its a low blow and really telling of that persons character and ideations.

I love how they can describe their feelings even at some moments while having a conversation with them, at points I almost cried. “I literally agree with you so much but again I don’t follow anyone on eating disorder Twitter at all, I have had some mutuals that turn their account into an eating disorder account. Which personally I think that’s just wrong, I think you should make a new account. Make a new account and then follow me on the old one if you want to see that. Some of us are uncomfortable with that, this isn’t something that’s well known about me but I don’t hide it whenever I was in high school and even in college somewhat. I don’t want to say I had an eating disorder and I am not trying to self diagnose myself. But I will say I struggled with with my body image, I would struggle with food. I would often look up like random strict diets to go on. This is going to sound really weird, sometimes It’s like I felt fat on that day if I ate something not constantly but way to frequently for it to be a one time thing. I would feel fat on a day if I ate something I would feel guilty about so I would throw it up. So it’s like I don’t want to trigger myself into past habits. I don’t want to get into that mindset again. It’s still not easy, It’s been like an ongoing journey my whole life.”

“But back to what I was saying I don’t think it’s okay if you have an stan account or a random account you should not randomly turn it into an eating disorder account without like a warning or something cause that’s shelfish to me. Not everyone wants to see that, and not everyone is comfortable with that. you don’t know if you have a mutual who’s struggling in silence and it triggers them. I just don’t think it’s okay at all to just turn your account into like an eating disorder account.” We were basically going back-and-forth on Instagram with voice messages, talking and talking and talking. “I agree with you %100, that’s like the prefect way to put it like when you said ‘if clothes don’t have a designated gender like your hobby can’t have a race. Which it’s just beautifully said and I wish I could have thought of that, this whole time when telling people things like this.” They were so educated and gave a well thought out responses. They were such a beautiful person inside and out. I really hope to see them more mainstream in the future with influencing or whatever they wanna do because of how educated and how down to earth they are. But to sum everything up, eating disorder Twitter and social media accounts promote it are extremely dangerous for the people in them and the people they affect around them. If you are struggling with any mental health issues, please please please do not be afraid to speak up and get the help you need.